Oh, hey, Team. I didn’t see you there. I was just reading over reviews and watching some streams over The Division whilst laughing upon my ever growing moral high horse. I could tell you how disappointed I am with those of you who bought it. I could gloat at the empty feeling you have now, the lack of money, and your overall poor life choices, but I’m not going to. This week I want to talk about another game, a game that is very dear to me on a personal level. When I first played it I was almost certain some one had someone made my childhood into a game, the only difference between this game and said childhood is that the game gives you the hope of potentially coming out on top, so let’s do it.

The Culling is by far the greatest game I’ve played since whatever the last game I said was the greatest game I’ve ever played was. Think about that. It’s been so long since I’ve said that a game other than Dark Souls was the greatest I can’t even remember what it was. That’s freaking impressive, and to add to it, it’s not even a $60 price tag, yet you have all the features necessary to make a quality Triple A title. High replay value, progressive rewards, competitive scene, I mean hell, the game is literally you against 15 other baby-eating-sum-bitches who are trying to kill you and everyone else in the game. You want new weapon loadouts? You gotta earn them. You want to change your perks? You have them all unlocked from the start. Don’t like how your character looks? You unlock cosmetic items at the end of each round, so the longer you play the more options you’ll get. You get all this for free once you buy the game. You get options like killing your foes in satisfying hand to hand battle, or by picking them off from a distance with carefully aimed shots from either bows or the prestigious guns. To top off this cake, if you find yourself unable to handle the rigors of a full on 16 man battle royale, you can always leech off of a friend who is better at the game and take on seven more teams in the duo game mode.

That’s not to say that the game isn’t without some faults, though. Though glorious and rewarding, the combat does take some time to get use to, and can be a bit clunky. It suffers from a few issues common with an Early Access title, a graphical or audio bug here or there, I can’t seem to figure out how to have five streams open and play the game at the same time, regardless of how low I set the quality, and honestly if you don’t have a few friends to team up with it can get a bit tedious at times, especially if you somehow manage to only find one or two people a round, but we’re not here to review the game, no, reviews are not my area.

    “But, Jareth,” you ask, a light of hope, once thought extinguished, flickering to life as you switch between this article and The Culling’s Steam page, “what are we here for then?”

You remember when I said I would talk about The Division? Well, I lied. It happens, it’s just something you have to deal with. The Culling is far superior to The Division for various reasons. The primary one is that the experience isn’t built solely around a gear score that you have to grind to obtain. The second primary reason is that this game doesn’t have an end. Have you thought about what you’ll do when you get to max level and max Dark Zone level in The Division? I’ll tell you what you’ll do, nothing. You’ll just wait for the newest DLC so you can squeeze a few hours of content out of a game that would have never owned in the first place if you would have only listened to what I was trying to tell you. The Culling doesn’t have such limitations. The Culling will go on, and whenever you tire of your current build you can simply switch up your perks and loadouts in multiple ways to try something new. Players will continually grow and get better the longer they play the game giving it an ever evolving difficulty level, and it’s exclusive to Steam so you don’t have to worry about filthy console plebeians sullying your prestigious game and giving them one more reason to envy your glorious PCMR lifestyle.
I don’t have a way to wrap up this article, and the last one so I’ll go with the tried and true method: