Total Defluffication!

With its jolly soundtrack, immersive story & jaw-dropping gameplay elements, Naughty Bear may just be the best video game to have been released in the last decade… to feature stuffed bears.

Naughty Bear is a blend of stealth, cunning, brutality and pure evil. I’m not joking, you need to be evil to play this game – it’s basically a requirement. If you don’t have a very prominent dark side you won’t be able to bear the psychopathic fluff-ripping assassinations that this game loves to encourage you to commit.

Naughty Bear has one hell of a storyline, relatable enough to touch the hearts of millions. Unfortunately, bearly anyone played this game and it went into hibernation. Naughty is the protagonist of the game, and he’s not been invited to Cuddles’ birthday party. He goes anyway, cradling a gift like a newborn bear cub. Daddles & Twinkles see what he has and are cruel as they laugh at him for even attempting friendship with any of the bears of Perfection Island. Naughty decides that it’s up to him to take his revenge on all the bears, making for a huge assortment of levels and even spawning a sequel!

The over-enthusiastic narrator would be unbearable in any other franchise, but once you get your paws stuck into this game you will feel more and more obligated to follow his murderous instructions. It serves as the perfect accompaniment to the happy, innocent tunes that run alongside the sound of whimpering stuffed animals. With a total of 33 different Naughty costumes, including fluffy versions of such famous characters as Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees, you’re spoilt for choice. An almost equal amount of choice comes with the weapons, Naughty bear can wield machetes, baseball bats, pistols, axes and so much more. He can use mines and bear traps to break the legs of his foes so that they limp around and cower in corners.

The most rewarding part of this game isn’t the weapons though, as you claw your way through the story mode, you’ll encounter many different objects that you can sabotage, such as barbecues and toilets. Bears will try to fix these, and if you get to them in time you’ll hear the narrator yell ‘MAXIMUM GRILLAGE!’ or ‘MANIC MIXING MUTILATION!’ depending on what you have used to ‘defluff’ them.

This game isn’t without it’s fair share of problems. The aiming with the guns is awkward and slows you down, and you only have a limited amount of ammunition. The camera angles could be a lot better, and the level environments could be more varied. Occasionally bears will stay in the corner of a barricaded room, effectively camping waiting for you to climb through the window and get shot. These issues are so minor that I really can’t see why people thought this game was so unbearable! Show some appreciation and we may very well get a third instalment.

At the end of the day, reviews are all down to opinion. In my opinion this game lets me unleash my inner psycho killer and murder my childhood. For you it may be appalling and extremely distasteful. Maybe I have bad taste…

Conclusion

‘Naughty bear is my game of the year, every year’