Holy cow, Team. I have some really exciting news for you. This is big, and we’re not talking GSP fighting Anderson Silva in an octagon surrounded by a lava moat filled with sharks with “freaking laser-beams attached to their heads’” big, no this is like actually plausible big. I even went to the extra effort to speak with direct sources, and only now am able to write this article. Fortunately it’s a slow day here at work and I can do this, otherwise it may be later than anticipated, but if Dan doesn’t stop staring at me I may not even get this done, opting instead to show him a world of pain the likes are only written about in science fiction novels. I’m trying to inform the people, Dan, I have obligation and responsibilities, Dan, you can cover for me for an hour while I type this, Dan! Stop trying to keep the people down, Dan!

What is so big that I, the prophet of the gaming world, would forgo my journalistic responsibilities and wait to get information directly from a source? It’s the Black Ops Blackout. If you are like me you probably play good games, so you had no idea there was such a large amount of uproar in the Call of Duty community, so allow me to bring you up to speed as best I can. Apparently in Black Ops you can get “Black Market” crates that will unlock extremely powerful new weapons. These weapons are so powerful they are considered literal game changers, but there’s a catch. To access these over-powered guns you have to pay actual money to get the crates. They’re not unlockable, they’re not accessible to everyone in the game, they’re exclusively for people who will give their hard-earned money to the creators for an advantage. They are the very definition of “Pay-To-Win”. If you’re like me you play video games that care about their products, not their profits, and may not be familiar to the concept. Allow me, the sage of the gaming world, to fill you in on the missing details. “Pay-To-Win” is a concept that is associated with the practice of spending actual real world money to gain some sort of advantage in a game. It can come in many forms, such as the aforementioned over-powered weapons, or perhaps it the ability to gain increased faction experience to get better tier weapons faster, such as Survarium. Pay-To-Win is the easy road, it’s an exploitive tactic that preys on people’s desire to be the best and puts a price tag on items that will allow them to do so without having to spend time in the proverbial trenches and “git gud” as some would say. Pay-To-Win is a many-headed hydra that has been plaguing the gaming community for years now, but it seems those days are coming to an end.

It started modestly, with some YouTube videos expressing their outcry at these new Blackmarket Crates, and then it spread and found its way onto Reddit. As of my first research into this subject the sub-reddit had 60,277 people expressing their discontent, and here’s the best part: It wasn’t even the low ranks that started it. No, according to my research the most vocal cry came from top-ranked players and professionals, people who by all means could afford the crates, or would be given the funds to get the crates. This movement has started from the top and rolled down to form a giant snowball effect, growing in size and hatred, and frankly I’m rather surprised. Call of Duty is a yearly installment, so I had always assumed that those who bought the games were somewhat of the sheeple mindset, and for that I apologize. I was wrong to doubt you, Call of Duty faithfuls. I was wrong to think that the only thing you cared about was sick 360 no scopes, Mountain Dew, Doritos, and air horn remixes of popular songs. You have done something that the rest of the gaming world should take note of and follow after. You have let your voice be heard and have started taking steps to let the company that has wronged you know that this won’t stand. I don’t wear hats, but if I did I’d tip it, but to show my appreciation and how sincere my apology is here is Dan, he will now do whatever heinous acts of sexual deprivation you can come up with. Don’t look at me like that Dan, these people are heroes, they are doing what others should do, and need to do. God damn gaming pioneers, and you will show your appreciation, and you will do whatever it is necessary to make amends for me wrongfully judging them, or you better pray to whatever deity you think will strike me down when I get off, because I’ll go Old Testament pillars of salt in the parking lot. Other people’s kids, man, I swear…what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, the Blackout.

“So, what does this mean for gaming,” you ask, the flames of passion rising in your eyes, rekindling an excitement you’ve not felt in years.

Well, Team, if this works, it means that there may be a changing of the guard. The people will be in charge, they will have the power to control what the Triple A companies do. If a vocal group lashes out against Activision, who’s to say that the same wouldn’t happen to Ubisoft, to EA, to Capcom? If this pans out like I’m hoping then it’s open season, my Team. 60,000 people successfully standing against Activision may just be the message that the big game companies needed to finally realize that they’ve been poking the proverbial bear, and that’s not an innuendo for masturbation.