The weight of your existence gives your silhouette a noticeable slouch. If you look close enough you could almost make out the hands of Life doing their best to bring you to your knees. Perhaps your job sucks. Perhaps your wife is unfaithful. Perhaps the entire scope and scale of the absurdity of the world that you live in has finally started to take hold, leaving you gasping, desperate for breath, but slowly sinking under the stifling tide of existence. You try to remember the last time you were happy, but that seems like an abstract notion, a myth that you’ve only heard about in children’s books and women’s programing. Almost certainly it exists, you can distinctly recall feeling “Happiness,” or can you? The struggle to force yourself to recall these memories is like trying to catch the air and see what it looks like, you KNOW it was there, you KNOW you were happy once, yes, very happy, beyond happy, you weren’t just contempt, amused, or placated, you were more, you were justified. Without warning the force of what you’ve lost comes crashing down onto you, and finally you fall to your knees, the world spinning so fast that color begins to fade to black and for some reason you think to yourself “I’m going to hit my head.” A thousand and one images of gruesome head trauma rush into the hurricane that has become your thought process, but you don’t fear the danger, you welcome it, finally, you’ll be free of the Struggle. As you anticipate the ground meeting contact with your head, spilling your brain parts all over the ground parts, a single tear escapes your eye. Sure, there are worse ways to go, but you quite literally can’t think of any at the moment. So much wasted, so much lost, so much left undone. You are pulled from the board meeting of You, Yourself, and You, Self-Pity Enthusiasts LLC. to the realization that the ground is soft. It’s not only soft, it’s warm, and a lot smaller than you thought. You try to force your eyes open, at first there is only light, so bright that you force your eyes close, too afraid of the Light to see where it comes from, but something deep down tells you to force yourself to look, to gaze into the light, and then you hear it:

“Hello, my team…”

    Yes, my Team. Do not fear the light, for it is I. Like Gandalf, Optimus Prime, and Goku I have returned to you in a bleak hour to give you guidance and strength. How about that intro, eh? I may do that more often…but I digress. We have much work to do team, we have much work indeed. I see that look, and no, I am not exactly in a spot where I can commit to writing weekly again, but I did notice that my presence was needed, so I will be filling in some gaps for the lads here and there when people are busy, so let’s start shall? How about a quick recap of gaming news stories I found interesting lately and my thoughts on them? Oh, you didn’t respond, that means you’re learning. Good for you.

    Tencent, holy crap, Team, Tencent is on a tear. I’m not a professional at the stock market, I’m not even going to pretend like I know the difference between a Bear and Bull market, but I will say this, I picked Bisping, I picked Cruz, I picked Weidman both times over Silva, and I picked Stipe, so I got the instincts to smell a winner, and Tencent Holdings is definitely going to be a company you are going to want to take note of. They first bout our Riot Games, the makers of League of Legends, the recently bought Clash of Clans developer Supercell, and I hear it from very reputable sources that they put down a 4 BILLION dollar bid on the UFC, despite Uncle Dana constantly saying that “the UFC is not for sale.” I’m not sure what is going on, if this is some sort of Chinese World Domination scheme, or just a company trying to beat out the competition, but they’re setting themselves pretty nicely from what I can. The UFC deal reportedly fell through, but they still own two companies that have made two of the biggest gaming success in the history of gaming. Tencent, if you want to get into the whole online gaming journalism/blog thing, I won’t ask for more than an easy 500k, because god knows you make that in about 30 seconds.

    I’m going to be honest, Team. I’m pumped about VR pornography. What? You tellin me you don’t watch, and if you haven’t picked up on it, that means you must be new, and if you’re new, despite what you may hear, I’m as good with the womens as Michael Jordan was at baseball, but I’m not just excited because I’m a pervert. I’m excited about the concept. It’s one thing to have a VR experience where it’s just audio and visual, but what about touch, taste, and smell? Okay…those last two will have to be carefully monitored for pornography, but I’m not just talking about porn. I’m talking about VR as a whole. I want that full “4D” experience as Universal Studios described that one time I was there on a family vacation. You’re playing a surfing simulator, you smell the ocean, the wave crashed into your face, a splash of mist hits your face, your chair or some specialized peripheral sends tingles down your body to simulate the wave rolling under you. If this wouldn’t be one of the coolest means of home entertainment then I honestly don’t want to be on this planet anymore. My major concern is this, though: The Reality of Virtual Reality. I don’t want reality, reality sucks. My porn virtual reality would go like this: I walk up to the female, hand outstretched, she kicks me in the balls, takes my wallet, and then finds a better looking guy to walk off screen with. The peripheral device that I once thought my friend when I was surfing sends the appropriate reaction to my testicles. Okay, so maybe I should just look forward to things one step at a time.

     Well Team, that’s all I have for now. I have the opening shift tomorrow, and I’m not really a morning person, so until next time, I love you all likes sons, not MY sons, but sons.