Every single month Playstation and Xbox serve up to its loyal (paying) gamers a fresh batch of video games to play for absolutely nothing. Be it Playstation Plus or Games With Gold, we lucky video game fans tend to get a bit spoilt for choice, so here at Gamer Laughs we’ve decided to help narrow that choice down for you. By offering up our Freebie Reviews for your eye-hole pleasures, you can now decide whether or not those free games are worth the download. Enjoy!

Patapon 3, an action rhythm game developed by Pyramid and Studio Japan, was released way back in 2011 on PSP. This month Patapon 3 is completely free on PS Plus for all us PS Vita owners who still think Sony’s handheld has a last ditch chance at success. Still waiting on that one…

Now, seeing as Patapon 3 is being offered to gamers at the princely sum of absolutely nothing, the thing you need to keep in mind here is whether or not it’s worth your time – a far more valuable commodity indeed. So, is it worth your time?

Well…

The very first thing that strikes you about Patapon 3 are the visuals. Even 5 years on from its initial release, the character models and level designs still scream “stylish” despite the ostensible lack of HD sheen. The colours pop, the animations are a pleasure to watch and the game has so much character about it that it rivals most of its modern-day counterparts. Sadly, it’s a little bit downhill from there.

Patapon 3’s plot is very much rooted in the old tropes of Japanese video games and as such, everything is a bit convoluted. It’s all a tad nonsensical and tries it’s hardest at some half baked comedy but ultimately falls short of any clarity. I’m several hours deep at this point and I still don’t have a clue about what’s going on. All I can tell you is that there is something bad happening that the Patapons need to stop from happening. I think…

Anyway, you take on each of the game’s 2D, side-scrolling “quests” with a party of 4 Patapons in tow – all so you can stop the bad things from happening. Each of those 4 Patapons in your party has possession of a drum that you can control with the PS Vita’s face buttons. Play these drums in time to an underlying drum beat (using a range of 4 button combinations) to successfully progress through each quest. The various combos will either make the Patapons move forward, jump, attack, retreat, defend, charge, summon or party (whatever that does).

On the face of it, the gameplay is a little jarring at first and it takes a short while to adjust to – it really is like nothing I’ve played before. Timing is of the essence here, so you can’t just bash out combinations like it’s your first go at Tekken 3. You have to watch enemy movement closely, whilst keeping your drum beat in time, so you can react quickly to avoid damage. Thing is, if your timing is slightly off there is nothing you can do to avoid taking damage.

Due to the fact that you have to hit the drums at a specific tempo, dodging enemy attacks can be very frustrating. You’ll see the beginnings of an enemy’s attack, know the combo to avoid said attack but be halfway through your own attack combo with no opportunity left to dodge. Alas, you have to watch your Patapons take the full brunt of the damage whist telling the game to “fuck off” in the progress. It adds a level of irritating uncertainty about the game, where it expects your powers of clairvoyance to be on point so you can reliably guess what an enemy is going to do next. It’s all a bit ridiculous really.

To it’s credit, this gripe I have with Patapon 3 is nothing but a clear indicator of it’s age. The current generation is inundated with games that rely heavily on twitch dodge mechanics and are dependent on player timing and skill. Here, with Patapon 3, your timing is restricted to 4 missable beats and that mechanic, as unique as it may be, doesn’t really fit into today’s gaming zeitgeist. Unless you can reset your gamers brain to 5 years ago and have the time available to sink into Patapon 3, then you’re going to have a bad time mastering it’s gameplay.

Interestingly, Patapon 3 shines at its brightest outside of the actual gameplay. The hub-world grants you access to an extensive party-management system that wouldn’t be amiss in a fully-fledged JRPG. You can adjust your Patapon classes, assign them skills, equip them with various weapons and armour. There’s even the ability to breakdown unwanted equipment and raw materials to craft your own. It truly is a staggering amount of depth, one that would satiate the appetite of any hardcore JRPG fan.

Unfortunately, this bright spark in the game gets dulled a little because it is at odds with the actual gameplay. The depth and complexity seen in this party-management system just doesn’t translate well to the simplistic approach of the rhythm game. Often you’ll find yourself wondering what the hell you spent all that time setting up your party for, when there’s very little difference to how your party actually plays in-game.

So is Patapon 3 deserving of your time? Well, 5 years ago it may have been. Today though, it is hard pressed to find any place to exist in the current gaming-sphere; a notion supported further by the recent absence the once popular series has seen. It’s not the fault of the game though, it’s more the fault of the genre. Rhythm based games just don’t seem to have the pull that they once had. Take a look at the recent failures of Guitar Hero Live and Rockband 4 for instance – these once monolithic properties barely made an impact upon their return, flopping harder than anyone anticipated. Patapon 3 may not be making a return, but given the opportunity to play it 5 years after its release, doesn’t exactly inspire me to start a campaign for Patapon 4.

To Conclude…

At its best Patapon 3 can be an engaging, sometimes addictive game, that all too often shows its waning youthfulness. At it’s worst, the aged nature of the title is all too frustrating and it does very little to guide the player through its obtuse gameplay. Ultimately, Patapon 3 is beautiful to look at, okay to play through but just not worth your time unless you really, really, really have nothing else from the past 5 years to keep you entertained.