From the beginning of what we were shown the game captured me. For a game set so far in the past, everything felt new. From the kick of the weapons to the terrifying noises of primitive tanks, everything was fresh. This refreshing nature is most easily captured in the new behemoth vehicles. Should your team be getting ass fucked by Germany, a large monstrosity of a vehicle will be called into to destroy you. In our multiplayer demo, we were introduced to a disappointingly-not-led zeppelin. This took several Red Baron-like strafes to finally beat into submission and secure a win for Germany.

It wasn’t THAT big. Large, yeah, but it would slip out of a magnum…

While I don’t believe this game will be winning any awards for historical accuracy, the weapons and structures did make me feel like interior plumbing wasn’t entirely there yet. Or in other terms, a real shitty time to be alive (Ba Dum Tis). But really, do you want to stay in one trench for a year trying to hide your trench foot so the not-so-good doctor might not have five more toes to add to his collection?  We haven’t seen any campaign footage yet though, so trench foot and boredom could still be the case.

The most satisfying thing for me was the melee combat. This is without a doubt the most brutal the melee combat has been in Battlefield. We were shown the axe, which allowed you to hatchet enemies to death like a Mike Myers esque murderer. The act both sounded and looked gory enough to make me slightly squeamish, though I am quite like The Cat in the Hat (a giant pussy). On top of that, you have the option to do a bayonet charge. I only managed to pull this off once, but it was by far my favorite part of the gameplay. You charge at the enemy with the gusto of a man, that hasn’t masturbated in a week, sprinting to a whore house. Except upon reaching the whore house, you gore whatever you came closest to with a pointed piece of metal. So I guess it is like my trips to the whore house.

Sadly, we were not allowed to play the Lawrence of Arabia Simulator section of the game.

I was skeptical at first of Battlefield 1, but my incredibly brief time with it has reassured me that it could be great, so long as the servers are in good order at launch. There’s very little negative say about the game. October can’t get here soon enough.