Rouse The Fanboys, Half Life 3:

Half Life 3 is a game that many people seem to believe will be THE GAME, even though Half-Life has been a mediocre franchise (don’t murder me in the comments). It has been talked up so much that it still has a reputation of being the best games of all time, Half-Life 2 even earning the title “Game Of The Decade” despite the fact that the title should belong to TES4:Oblivion.

Now, as I will surely have upset more than a few PC elitist, Lord Gaben, bastards bastards let me say something: It’s not the fact that Half-Life 3 couldn’t be the best game ever, it could, it’s the fact that you’ve ruined it. No developer ever will be able to live up to that sort of hype EVER. As the anticipation builds so will your disappointment in the final product. Put yourself in the Valve’s shoes. Should aim down sight be introduced to bring in a new fresh audiences? Not if you don’t want to upset the fanboys. Should Gordon finally be given a voice to make a more relatable character that isn’t just being talked at? Not if you don’t want to upset the fanboys. Should cutscenes be introduced to show just what an updated version of the source engine is capable of doing? Not if- you know what I mean.

Heil

Half-Life 3 has been and will remain doomed because established fans of the franchise have formed a cancerous vocal minority mainly comprised of PC elitists who can’t deal with change. If the structure of their lives changes from masturbation at 11 and tea at 11:07 to masturbation at 11:01 and tea at 11:06 , they totally break down and anarchy shall rule their lives. They are Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. And that, dear friends, is why your beloved game is doomed to fail.