There are a lot of reasons to get angry in the gaming industry: A title got delayed, the local games shop was having a magic tournament so you couldn’t check out the new Diablo expansion, your Ni No Kuni dolls scared off another potential mate, etc. However, many gamers haven’t been taught to process this anger and turn it into something creative like art or a new Marilyn Manson album. That’s why we here at Gamer Laughs decided to put together a quick list of do’s and dont’s for venting outrage, or as we like to call it, “gameger”.

Number 1: Venting to people:

“It’s just… she never picks the right time to drop her ult in PVP”

DO: Discuss your anger in appropriate company such as a psychiatrist or loved one.

Don’t: Go ape shit on a public message board.

In the world of gaming, there can be only extremes. For this reason, games are either universally loved or hated. This can often lead to message boards full of angry neckbeards upset that Chun-Li’s titties didn’t bounce the right way. This often leads to the stigma that gamers are all misogynistic perve-bags, which is why I designed this little rhyme:

“Don’t be an irrational fuck wit under the thin veil of Internet anonymity”

Okay, it doesn’t rhyme, but baby steps.

Number 2: Using anger creatively:

You paint what you feel

Do: Turn your anger into drive to do something useful and creative.

Don’t: Say you could do better, then masturbate to Game Of Thrones for two hours.

While I don’t doubt your amazing coding, writing, and modeling skills…. Oh wait, I do. It is highly unlikely that you have any of the skills required to actually make a video game except for perhaps writing (and yes, as a writer, I am qualified to say a monkey with a pen could do what I do). However, many people would insist that they could churn out a triple a quality game with just $20 and a laptop. I definitely encourage you to try, especially because you will most likely just open up Unity, dick around for thirty minutes, then call it a day. There’s no excuse for lacking drive, but most people do. You could wind up creating the next Super Meat Boy, but instead you keep jerking off to that weird scene in the first episode of Game Of Thrones where Daenarys’ brother rubs her nipples. It somehow sounds weirder on paper…

Number 3: Stop doing what you’re doing:

These graphics are so shit I had to close my eyes

DO: Take a break

DON’T: Continue trying to beat Curse Rotted Greatwood until you cry blood and your girlfriend leaves you

This best way to vent anger is to take breaks wherein you masturbate to Game of Thrones. While this may seem somewhat hypocritical, masturbation is a great way to let off steam, so long as you don’t claim to be better than the devs. Reminder: you (probably) aren’t. Breaks are important, especially during hardcore gaming sessions. Think of it like this: do you want to get so aggravated that you keep going and forget to eat for so long that you die like a Korean teen in an internet cafe? If no, take a break to eat PB&J and play Pokemon GO. If yes, it’s never too late to start practicing for the Starcraft 2 World League Championship…

So there you have it, great ways to properly handle your…. wait… the No Man’s Sky PC port is broken? Murray will be getting a strongly worded message from me that pube-bearded bastard.